In keeping with the Me Mondays theme, my post is going to be about slowing it all down and essentially “cutting myself some slack.” A little background for those who I haven’t had the opportunity to meet yet - I started teaching at SP last September and it was one of the absolute best things that has ever happened to me.
I was in the middle of a quarter (probably closer to third) life crisis; I was a new mom with a FT job in Boston, trying to make time for my family, friends and last on that list...me and my workout. Continuing this balancing act was literally exhausting - Days weren’t long enough and I wasn’t being the best employee, wife or mother I could be. I finally decided I needed to break the cycle and turn it inward. I re-evaluated a large portion of my life - both professionally and personally...a so-called “Spring Cleaning of my emotional closet.”
I think one of the strongest factors in my unhappiness was my inability to fit as many workouts into my week as I wanted. I was tired and beyond frustrated because I have always been an active person. I was a three sport athlete in HS, played softball in college and continued to workout at least 5 days a week even after I became a mom. Through all of that my weight has fluctuated literally 80+/- lbs… the ONE consistency, regardless of the number on the scale, was knowing that working out and being healthy is ESSENTIAL for my happiness.
What’s changed the most in that time span is what being “healthy” or “fit” means to me. Back then it was the size on my jeans, and now the definition isn’t so cut and dry. For the first time in my life I can 100% say I am proud of who I am; both inside and out. I have off days (probably more frequent than I care to admit) but on a daily basis I now hold myself to a COMPLETELY different standard; Am I someone who I would want my daughter to look up to? Broad statement but it encompasses both mental and physical health and thats what I was missing until now.
Was a size 2 back then - absolutely. Was I starving and tired - absolutely. When I went to college and gained waaaay more than the Freshman 15 did it mentally ruin me - you betcha
I have ALWAYS been way too hard on myself when I didn’t look exactly the way I thought I should.
Very very long story short - SP and the supportive community of women here are a HUGE part of this realization for me so I wanted to put pen to paper to maybe help at least one person get to this place a little quicker than I did.
So let’s fast forward to present day; I am currently in Florida for my goddaughter's Communion and you know what I’m not doing - I’m not stressing about what I’m eating or drinking as I would have done previously. I may not be teaching as many classes as I usually do this week, I may not be able to get in as many workouts as I do at home... but life is about balance. We work SO SO hard in our regular everyday routines that when we get the opportunity for a “break,” whatever form it comes in, we need to cut ourselves some slack and truly enjoy it. Be present in the moment. Basically I mean this little lady and amazing husband need some attention and Mama needs some wine - so I am going to enjoy every second of it, unapologetically!